Someday when I stop loving you.

I'm in love with you. I'm not afraid to say it. I'm not ashamed. I could say it to your face and not be afraid or nervous or scared. I'm so into you. I always have been. I know that you don't love me back. I know that you will never know that I'm in love with you. But it's ok. I miss being with you everyday. Just being beside you made me feel happy. I didn't even have to talk to you. I just loved you being a part of my day. We have this crazy chemistry that neither of us can deny. That time you grabbed my hand, that time you never once looked away from me, that time you held me, that time you danced with me, I can't get any of it out of my mind. I love the way you look at me, the way you laugh with me or even at me, the way your name sounds with mine. I love every single thing about you. I never thought it was possible to be in love with someone that you aren't in a relationship with, or doesn't return the same feelings. But it's possible. I almost like it better this way. Because I can't be hurt from you not loving me back; from the moment I started loving you, I already knew you didn't love me back. There is no way that you can break my heart. It started out broken. But I'm madly in love with you. I always have been. I always will be. You will always be that one guy that I will never forget and never stop loving. I hope the girl you end up with loves you as much as I do, and tells you just how much every second of the day. Because I wish that I could tell you just how much I love you. And maybe, one day, you'll end up back at my door, ready to love me too.

The truth about forever.

I never realized what it means or feels like to really change. I've always said I need to change. I want to change. I'm going to change. But this week, I changed. I read The Truth About Forever and I felt like I was reading a book about myself. A girl, trying to please everyone, afraid of taking chances, afraid of failing. Shy, emotions kept inside, afraid of losing something or someone, afraid of life, the future. Reading about this girl's discoveries about herself and about life led me to my own discoveries. It made me think about how I need to take risks, no matter the outcome. If I feel it, I need to do it. If I think it, I need to say it. I need to stop living my life in a little box where I think I'm going to be safe. It's time to take chances and step outside myself and what I'd normally do. Then I won't look back and say I wish I had done or said something because in life, you shouldn't have regrets. I can't be afraid of life anymore. It's ok to have doubts and to feel fear but I have to face it. That's what life is. Who cares if your heart gets broken, if you get embarrassed, or if you fail at something. That's life; it's how we learn. It's how we find love. It's how we laugh. It's how we succeed. It's how we grow. I'm not changing who I am, I'm just becoming the person I have always been so afraid to be. So this summer is about me taking chances, taking risks, and being my true self. This summer is about living. Maybe this will be the summer everything changes.